READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
