If i come over, it means nothing
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
