you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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