you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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