Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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