The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
