I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
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