If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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