I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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