so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
