Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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