I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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