Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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