the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
