I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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