My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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