; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
