I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
