So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
