Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
