Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize