New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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