It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize