I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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