Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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