So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
