I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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