worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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