She is in my trunk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize