in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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