stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
