I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
bring money and cleavage
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
