I cannot find my penis.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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