Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
