You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize