Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.