sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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