The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize