Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i permit you to call me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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