I wish my penis had an off switch
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
