why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
