when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its liver damage thursday
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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