So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He did a backflip because drugs
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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