wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
