If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
