haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
