I wanna bring you to show and tell
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
