Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
