I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How external is "for external use only"?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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