My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
