What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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