Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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