There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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