wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
