There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Are we still banned from the library?
I need moral support for this bender
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
