I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
