I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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